Skool Pianos

The great fictional schoolboy Nigel Molesworth, the curse of St Custards public school, has a lot to say about the school (sorry, skool) piano, which goes WAM PLUNK BISH BASH ZUNK, has a pair of brass flame throwers and a bubble for a rear gunner.

From the surviving letters on its name board, it appears to be a Bechstein. But for many British tuners, the school piano is synonymous with the Danemann company. Danemann was based in Islington, north London, and made very fine pianos, many of which are still around today. It also created an extra-rugged product specifically for schools with a solid oak casing, strengthened components such as hammers and strings, toe pegs front and back to ensure stability, and large rubber castors for easy movement.

Unsurprisingly, many of these are also still around today. Indeed, one music teacher told me he thought that in the event of a nuclear catastrophe, the world would be left only with ants and Danemann school pianos. Ruggedness remains a good quality to have in the school environment, although they do need regular tuning to prevent them making similar sounds to the St Custards instrument, as well as to empty them of the detritus they collect, if not the quaint collection of old marbles, cig cards, toy soldiers, and dead goldfish enumerated by Nigel Molesworth.

Danemann stopped manufacturing pianos in 1994, but the factory still stands, now called “The Ivories”, serving as a business centre for small firms. The marque was revived in 2017 by Broughton Pianos, with new instruments being made in China.